Fat bloke argues fatty food is better than actual exercise

 
A fat bloke has attempted to justify his love for burgers and pizza by arguing that a diet high in cholesterol is actually better for you in the long run. Frank Bentos, known as 'Frey' to both of his friends, explains "It really is quite simple and I'm surprised the doctors are not telling us this, but eating lots of fat thickens the blood meaning that your heart has to pump harder to get around your body and therefore it creates a self exercise regime without actually having to do anything"  The 28 stone unit went on 'It's a great way to stay fit, just by eating a triple cheeseburger with bacon and large fries you can feel the blood pumping the same as going for a run and you have almost burnt off the calories by the time you have eaten it!" 

The 48 year old from Dover who has been unemployed for 5 years, is a well known character in the local fast food outlets.  The owner of 'Kebabs R-us', Stathis Popadopopalus said "Eeear we-a love a Mr Fatty-a-Bentos man, he come here an-na spend a loada money innit."

A spokesman for the Eat Healthy Campaign UK said "This type of approach to eating is extremely reckless, whether you are classed as a bloater or not and can only be described as rapidly digging a grave grave with your teeth." 

Reporter Eddie Large
Image Artem Podrez - Pexels