Football Goal Celebrations - Sporting Passion or Just Idiotic?

Professional Behaviour v Being a Complete Bell-end - That is the Question?

The English Football Association have reminded players about the rules rules for the Premier League about kissing each other when celebrating goals. The latest re-emphasis for preventing the spread of Covid-19 has been welcome amongst most fans, although apparently not the players. The rules are clear about players not cuddling or climbing over each other as well as kissing and rubbing up against fellow team members, however the knobbish practice just carries on as if to say " We don't give a f*ck, we do as we please" The public are rightly wondering are they really that thick as shit, or do they generally just not give a toss about the risk of spreading the virus around?

An insider at St Georges Park UK HQ commented "We are worried about the spread of Covid, however we do not want to remove the passion from the game, therefore players can continue to make the usual twats of themselves after scoring, just not directly exchanging bodily fluids. We would like to encourage more the use of the robot dance or even running around like an aeroplane with shirt pulled up over their face as these are much safer practices."

Health professionals have for sometime been asking for goal celebrations to be banned. Dr Mark Bell from the Infection Prevention Unit, Southampton University said" We cannot understand why these over paid imbeciles are not told to stop this ridiculous display of misplaced affection, when it is simply not justified or required. Everyone one else is trying to be cautious, however these dough brained players who continually show themselves to be irresponsible and break the rules outside of their so called support bubbles are just spreading it around further the twats."

A spokesperson for the Premier League players own group Facebook page 'Premo Players United' commented on the proposals "Well you know man, like, we love kissin each other innit, makes us a proper team, don't mean we is girlies does it - know what I mean"?

Reporter Bob Fleming

Image Wesley Tingey - Unsplash